The Promise... Simi Promise??

Hallo everyone, I have an announcement to make: I'm on leave today. Buaahahahaa! Shiok!

Since I have the day off, I did my onw thing lah. Then in the late afternoon I thought: maybe I should go watch a movie.

I was kind of thinking of watching 'Aeon Flux' since the poster looked kind of cool... but I saw the trailer of 'The Promise' at the train station and realised that the movie has opened! Hurray I thought. So I went to Bishan to buy the ticket for the 4.30pm movie.

I was really excited and I couldn't really wait to watch the movie.

The first 10 minutes or so was still okay... I was still thinking 'cool man!' But after the introduction of Jang Dong-Kun (some Korean guy that drives many women into screaming frenzy) took place, I was thinking something like 'you MUST be joking...'

The reason: slave Jang can run disgustingly fast, a la The Flash.

Fine.

I can live with that for a while even though there isn't any viable explanation.

Then I see Cecilila Chung (some Hong Kong woman whom people call the next Lin Ching Sia... whatever) standing on some roof with some emperor guy. Then she starts striping... Hey you hum sam lo... not stipe till you see that woman naked lah deh... as in she just strip her outer flimsy coat thing lah. Then ah this Nicholas Tse (some Hong Kong guy lah... this one not bad, I can say he's cute) pointed his sceptor at Cecillia as a gesture of good work (not encoiraging her to strip lah, but that she distract the soldiers lah). Now, ordinarily, I absolutely have no problem with this, except that in this case, the sceptor has a golden hand in a thumbs up position. I mean, what the ?!??!?!?

Later on in the movie, Cecillia Chung is seen frolicking with this great general Hiroyuki Sanada (some Japanese guy lah...). I think there is some kissing or even more explict scene, however, I didn't get to watch it since it was like, so totally censored lah deh.

Then the movie explains that Jang is actually from this country called the Land of Snow (I'm like... whatever lah deh...). Citizens of this country can run exceptionally fast, a la The Flash (eh hallo... if till now you dunno who Flash is... I seriously suggest that you read up on comics hor... and I don't mean the Japanese manga hor... I mean the American comics... you know like X-Men, Superman, Batman that kind of thing. The Flash is this guy who can disgustingly fast, hence the name Flash... duh...). And Jang was able to find the desire to enable him to discover who he is and hence run real fast... so fast that he can even turn back time.

Now, Cecillia is a woman cursed by some goddess. The curse goes something like this: you will have all the riches in life, all men will be smitten by you, but when you find someone whom you love, that love will not last... until time is turned back, the sun rises from the west, sets in the east and the dead is resurected... (see... useless information like this I can remember...)

Hence this ties in neatly with Jang's abilities.

All you need to know after a series of events that Nicholas Tse and Hiroyuki Sanada both die. The only two survivours are Cecillia and Jang. Then the two of them flew off into a multi-coloured sky a la the Aurora Borealis.

When I saw this, I was like... no way hose... you cannot end like this ah... then to my relief, I saw another shot: a cherry blossom tree.

Then

Credits.

What the ??!?!?!??!

The ending is crap. The middle of the story is crap. Majority of the beginning is crap. Arrrggghhh. Can't stand it.

The movie's plot is damn ridiculous. The movie tries to be something that it is not. And what's with the obession with cherry blossom tree???

And this movie is entered in the Oscars as Best Foreign film?? You MUST be joking!!!?!?!?!!! Don't sia suah Asia ok... The cinematography is just so so... I say 'Hero' and 'House of Flying Daggers' are much better!

And I hear that this is the most expensive movie to come out of China. I say the money would have been better used to improve the sanitary conditions in China.

I must say though that the effort to do a movie that is pan-Asian in nature must be applauded but it still cannot compensate all the horrible, corny and crappy special effects and storyline.

The storyline has absolutely nothing to do with the title 'The Promise'. Simi promise? Promise that it'll be a BAD movie? Go and fly kite lah deh!

And one more thing Cecillia Chung is UGLY like crap!!! She looks different with and without make up. She looks different with every camera angle. She just looks gross lah...

Bleah.